一篇短篇英语笑话

Question

要一篇短片英语笑话，单词要六年级学过的。要在一分钟内就能读完的，要附上翻译
拜托...也别太短啊..

Answer 1

1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Answer 2

ONE CAR COME ON CAR GO的您听过吗？？
ONE CAR COME,ONE CAR GO,TWO CAR “PENG PENG”, ONE REN DIE
一辆车来，一辆车去，两车“砰砰”，一个人就死了……
是篇英文作文，原文“人”打的就是“REN”

Answer 3

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
What's All the Screaming About?

Once a music teacher took her class to their first grand
opera. The lights began to dim, the conductor began
waving his baton, and the soprano started singing.
After a while, one of the students asked the teacher,
"Why does the conductor keep waving his stick at the
woman? What has she done? So the teacher said, "Oh,
don't worry. It's just the way it is. He won't hit her!
Don't worry. And so the student asked, "Then why
is she screaming like that?"

为何尖叫
一位音乐老师带学生去欣赏一流的大型歌剧。当灯光暗下来之
后，歌剧指挥开始挥动他的指挥棒，女高音的歌声随之响起。
过了一会儿，一位学生问老师：「为什么指挥先生一直朝那位
女士挥棒子呢？她做错了什么事吗？」老师回答：「噢！不要
担心，歌剧的演唱方式就是这样，他不会打她的，你不要担心。
」学生又问：「那为什么她要这样大声尖叫呢？」

2
Fake Money
Jimmy went into a shop, took a toy tank, gave the
shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.
So, the shopkeeper told him, “Excuse me, little boy,
this isn’t real money.” Little Jimmy didn’t reply,
continuing walking out of the shop. The shopkeeper
repeated himself, and Jimmy kept walking.
The third time the shopkeeper called him, “I’m sorry,
young man, but this is not real money.”
Jimmy looked at the tank in his hands, looked at the
shopkeeper and finally said, “And this isn’t a real tank, either.”

假钱
吉米进了一家商店，拿了一个玩具坦克，给了店主假钱就走了
。于是店主告诉他：“对不起，小孩，这不是真钱。”
小吉米没有回答，继续往外走。店主重复自己的话，但吉米继续走。
第三次店主叫住他：“对不起，年轻人，这不是真钱。”
吉米看着手里的坦克，又看着店主最后说：“可这也不是真坦克呀

Answer 4

long long ago，one men ,die
很久很久以前，一个男人，死了

Answer 5

One day,a man came home.His wife was angry asked where did you go?He said at the golden bar!The door is gold and the tollet is gold too!Wife said why did you go to the tollet in the saxphone???
就讲了一个醉汉在萨克斯里尿尿的事