ããå«ææä¹è¯´æç½?
ããé£å¤©ææ£å¨çç¢ï¼å¦è±è¯çèå¦æ§äºæ¬ä¹¦è¿æ¥ï¼æ们æäºè¿æ ·ç对è¯ï¼ï¼
ããèå¦ï¼âè¿ä¸ªâI don't know.âæ¯ä»ä¹ææï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âæä¸ç¥éãâ
ããèå¦ï¼âéä½ ä¸å¦ä¸äºå å¹´ï¼ä½ æä¹ä»ä¹é½ä¸ç¥éï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âä¸æ¯ï¼å°±æ¯âæä¸ç¥éâåï¼ï¼â
ããèå¦ï¼âè¿å´ç¡¬ï¼ï¼ï¼ä½ åç»æ说说è¿ä¸ªï¼âI knowâæ¯ä»ä¹ææä½ è¯¥ç¥éå§ï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âæç¥éãâ
ããèå¦ï¼âç¥é就快说ãâ
ããæ说ï¼âå°±æ¯æç¥éãâ
ããèå¦ï¼âæ¾è¬åä½ ï¼â
ããæ说ï¼â没éåï¼æç¥éï¼â
ããèå¦ï¼âç¥éä½ è¿ä¸è¯´ï¼ä¸æä¸è¦è£
æï¼ä½ ç»æå°å¿ç¹ï¼è±é£ä¹å¤é±éä½ ä¸å¦ï¼æå¾ç°å¨ä»ä¹é½ä¸ä¼ï¼ä¼é£ä¹ä¸ä¸ç¹å¿ä¸è¥¿è¿è·èå¦æè°±å¿ãåé®ä½ æåä¸ä¸ªï¼ä½ ç»æ好好解éä¸ä¸ï¼è¯´ä¸åºæ¥æåæ¶æ¾ä½ ãä½ ç»æç¿»è¯ä¸ä¸âI know but I don't want to tell youâæ¯ä»ä¹ææï¼â
ããææåï¼æ¿èµ·æ头å¾å¤´ä¸çç ¸ä¸åå¤ä¸ï¼ç¨å¤´æå¢ååå¤ä¸ï¼åæè½®çªæ½èªå·±å´å·´äºåå¤ä¸ï¼ç¨è踢æ¡åè§å
åå¤ä¸ï¼æé®èå¦ï¼âè¿ä¸ä½ 满æäºå§ï¼â
ãã人们常说ï¼å¦ä¹ æ¯çè¦çåç¨ï¼ä¸è¿æä¸æç½ï¼ä¸ºä»ä¹å伤çæ»æ¯æã
ããæå¦å¦è±è¯ççæ
æ¥çé«æ¶¨ï¼å èæçè¦é¾å°±æ¥çå æ·±ãæ¯å½èå¦é®æè±æçæ¶åï¼æé½ä¼å
åä¸çé¿æ¯å¹æï¼ç¼ 好绷带ï¼åè¿ä¸é¾èç¥åè³ç¬¬åäºéã
ããè¿ä¸å¥¹è人家åæ¥é®æäºï¼âå¿åï¼âI'm very annoyedï¼don't trouble meâæ¯ä»ä¹ææåï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âæå¾ç¦ï¼å«ç¦æãâ
ããèå¦ï¼âæ¾æï¼è·ä½ å¦è¿ä¹è¯´è¯ãâ
ããèå¦åé®ï¼ââI hear nothing,repeatâæ¯whatææåï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âæ没å¬æ¸
ï¼å说ä¸æ¬¡ãâ
ããèå¦å说äºä¸éï¼âI hear nothing,repeat.â
ããâæ没æ没å¬æ¸
ï¼å说ä¸æ¬¡ãâï¼ç»æ被æï¼
ããèå¦åé®ï¼ââLook up in the dictionaryâæ¯ä½æåï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âæ¥åå
¸ãâ
ããâæ¥åå
¸æè¿é®ä½ åçï¼âï¼è¢«æï¼
ããèå¦åé®ï¼ââYou had better ask othersâæä¹ç¿»å¢ï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âä½ æ好é®å«äººãâ
ããâä½ æ¯æå¿åï¼æé®å«äººå¹²åï¼åæ¾æãâ
ããâåï¼God save meï¼â
ããâèä½ èå¦ç©ï¼ä¸å¸ä¹æä¸äºä½ ï¼âï¼è¢«æï¼
ããâæåé®ä½ ï¼âUse your head,then think it overâåæ¯ä»ä¹ææåï¼â
ããæ说ï¼âå¨å¨èåï¼åä»ç»æ³æ³ãâ
ããâèå°åï¼è¿æ¢èæãâæ¥çåè¦å¨æã
ããæå¿è¯´ï¼âæ¯ä¸ä¸åªæå¦å¦å¥½çææãâ
ããâå¯ï¼è¿è¿å·®ä¸å¤ï¼ä¸ä¼å¿æç»ä½ å好åçï¼æ天åé®ä½ ãâ
ããææåã
ããè¶
ç²¾æçèµ°ç§ç¯
ããA Smugglar
ããèµ°ç§ç¯
ããThe suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
ããä¸ä¸ªå½¢è¿¹å¯çç人å¼è½¦æ¥å°è¾¹å¢ï¼å¨å
µè¿äºä¸å»ãå¨å
µå¨æ£æ¥æ±½è½¦è¡æç®±æ¶ï¼æå¥å°åç°äºå
个æ¥ç¼å¤é¼å¾ç´§ç»·ç»·ç大å£è¢ã
ãã"What's in here?" he asked.
ããâéé¢è£
çæ¯ä»ä¹ï¼âä»é®éã
ãã"Dirt," the driver replied.
ããâåãâå¸æºåçã
ãã"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
ããâæè¢åæ¿åºæ¥âï¼å¨å
µå½ä»¤éï¼âæè¦æ£æ¥ãâ
ããObliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
ããé£äººé¡ºä»å°æå£è¢æ¬äºåºæ¥ãç¡®å®ï¼å£è¢éé¤äºå以å¤ï¼å«æ ä»ç¹ãå¨å
µå¾ä¸æ
æ¿å°è®©ä»éè¿äºã
ããA week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
ããä¸å¨åï¼é£äººåæ¥äºï¼å¨å
µå次æ£æ¥æ±½è½¦ä¸çè¡æç®±ã
ãã"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
ããâè¿æ¬¡è¢åéè£
çæ¯ä»ä¹ï¼âä»é®éã
ãã"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
ããâåï¼åè¿äºä¸äºåãâé£äººåçã
ããNot believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
ããå¨å
µä¸ç¸ä¿¡ï¼å¯¹é£äºè¢ååè¿è¡äºæ£æ¥ï¼ç»æåç°ï¼é¤äºå以å¤ï¼ä»æ§ä¸æ æè·ã
ããThe same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.
ããåæ ·çäºæ
æ¯å¨éæ¼ä¸æ¬¡ï¼ä¸å
±æç»äºå
个æãæåï¼å¨å
µè¢«å¼å¾ç°å¿ä¸§æ°ï¼å¹²èè¾èå»å½äºé
å§ä¾è
ã
ããThen one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
ããæ天å¤éï¼é£ä¸ªå½¢è¿¹å¯çç人碰巧éç»é
å§ï¼ä¸è½¦åé
ãé£ä½ä»åçå¨å
µæ¥å¿è¿ä¸åå»å¯¹ä»è¯´ï¼âæ说ï¼èå
ï¼ä½ è¦æ¯è½å¸®æä¸ä¸ªå¿ï¼ä»æçé
å°±å½æ请客ãä½ è½ä¸è½åè¯æï¼é£æ®µæ¶é´ä½ å°åºå¨èµ°ç§ä»ä¹ä¸è¥¿ï¼â
ããGrinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
ããé£äººä¿¯èº«è¿æ¥ï¼åè¿ä¾è
çè³æµï¼è£å¼å´ç¬å»å»å°è¯´ï¼â汽车ãâ man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
ããä¸ç·åè¿å
¥æå åä¸å¸å¯¹è¯.ä»é®:"主å, ä¸ç¾ä¸ç¾å
å¯¹ä½ æå³çå¤å°?"ä¸å¸åç:"ä¸ä¾¿å£«."ç·ååé®:"é£ä¸ç¾ä¸å¹´å¢?"ä¸å¸è¯´:"ä¸ç§é."æåç·å请æ±é:"ä¸å¸,æè½å¾å°ä¸ä¾¿å£«å?"ä¸å¸åç:"è¿ä¸ç§é."
ããFour best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
ãã"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
ããå个好æåå¨å»é¢é碰é¢äº,ä»ä»¬ç妻åæ£å¨ç产.æ¤å£«è¿æ¥å¯¹ç¬¬ä¸ä¸ªç·äººè¯´:"æå,ä½ å¾äºåèè."ç·äººè¯´:"å¤å¥æªå,ææ¯æå°¼èè¾¾ååéçç»ç."è¿äºä¸ä¼å¿,æ¤å£«è¿æ¥å¯¹ç¬¬äºä¸ªç·äººè¯´:"æå,ä½ å¾äºä¸èè."ç·äººå¾å欢:"å¯,åå·§äº.ææ¯3Må
¬å¸çè£äº."æå,æ¤å£«è·æ¥å¯¹ç¬¬ä¸ä¸ªç·äººè¯´:"æå,ä½ å¾äº2对åèè."ç·äººå¾å¼å¿å°è¯´:"ç令人å¼ç¬çé,æ为åå£å®¾é¦å·¥ä½."ä»ä»¬ä¸ä¸ªé½å¾é«å
´,ä½ç¬¬å个ä¼ä¼´æ¥å¾åçé
ä¸çèè,åéªä¸å¸å¹¶ç¨å¤´æå¢.ä»ä»¬é®ä»æä»ä¹ä¸å¯¹å²,ä»åçé:"ä»ä¹ä¸å¯¹å²?æå¯æ¯å¨ä¸åå
¬å¸å·¥ä½å!"
ããåµåµ,ä¸ä¸ªæ¯ä¸ä¸ªæçé«.
ããOsama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish thatâs 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,â Itâs 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,â Wow! Thatâs a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
ããæç»,ä¸å æ¿å¤§äººè¿æå¸ä»æ»ç»èµ°å¨å¤§è¡ä¸çå°ä¸çéè²çç¯.ä»ä»¬æ¦äºæ¦ç¯åºç°äºä¸ä¸ªç²¾çµ.ç²¾çµè¯´:"æè¦æ»¡è¶³ä½ 们æ¯äººä¸ä¸ªæ¿ææ»å
±ä¸ä¸ª."å æ¿å¤§äººè¯´:"ææ¯ä¸ªç¶äº²æå¿åå°æ为å夫,å æ¤ææ³è®©å æ¿å¤§çåå°æ°¸è¿è¥æ²."ç²¾çµè¯´äºåè¯æ¿æå®ç°äº.æç»çäºå¾æå¥,ä»å¸ææ座åå¢å´ç»é¿å¯æ±.ç²¾çµå说äºåè¯æ¿æåå®ç°äº.å¸ä»æ»ç»é®:"ç²¾çµè¯·åè¯æå
³äºè¿åº§å¢çäºæ
."ç²¾çµåç:"å¢å50è±å°º,é«500è±å°º,å èéé¢çä»»ä½ä¸è¥¿åºä¸æ¥å¤é¢çä»»ä½ä¸è¥¿è¿ä¸å»."å¸ä»æ»ç»è¯´:"å!é£æ¯åº§å¤§æ¡¥è¶...注满水!!!"
ããMy Baby Swallowed a Bullet
ããYoung Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
ããDoctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
ããNotes
ãã1. to swallow a bullet: åä¸ä¸é¢åå¼¹
ãã2. to point at: 对...çå
ãã个ä¸æå³èªå·±ä½ä¼å§ :)
ããallybaby
ããOnce two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
ãã两个ç人è¿æ£®æéæçï¼å
¶ä¸ä¸ä¸ªç人ä¸æ
è·åï¼ä¸¤ç¼ç¿»ç½ï¼ä¼¼å·²åæ¢å¼å¸ãå¦ä¸ä¸ªç人赶紧æ¿åºææºæ¨éç´§æ¥æ±å©çµè¯ãæ¥çº¿åæ²çå°è¯´ï¼â第ä¸æ¥ï¼è¦å
ç¡®å®ä½ çæåå·²ç»æ»äº¡ãâäºæ¯ï¼æ¥çº¿åå¨çµè¯éå¬å°ä¸å£°æªåï¼ç¶åå¬å°é£ç人æ¥çé®ï¼â第äºæ¥æåï¼â
ããAn instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
ãã"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
ãã"What is it?"
ãã"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
ãã"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
ãã"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
ããä¸æç¿»è¯ï¼
ããçåæäºè¯¾çèå¸å¨è¯¾å ä¸é®å£«å
µä»¬ï¼âè°ç¥éæ°´çååå¼ï¼â
ããâå½ç¶ï¼å¤ªç®åäºãâä¸ä¸ªå£«å
µåçéã
ããâæ¯ä»ä¹ï¼â
ããâH, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.â
ããâä»ä¹ï¼ä»ä¹ï¼âèå¸åé®éã
ããâH to Oï¼âåå¦ä¸å®¶è§£ééã
温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考