帮忙将这几句话翻译成英文(不要生套语法的那种)

Question

帮忙将这几句话翻译成英文(不要生套语法的那种)
翻译得越生活感越好,谢谢!~
1 如果我问你这个问题,如果你的回答是"有",那么在你回答后请你不要告诉任何人我有问过你这个问题,谢谢.
2 如果是"没有",那请你也不要告诉任何人我问过你这个问题,总之,就是这段我们之间的对话,暂时,我希望是个秘密,如果你算是一个男人,就请你发誓不会透漏出去.可以么???
如果是简写我就爱死回帖的了~~~~
还有这一句--- 我只问这一个问题,希望你可以理解它的言外之意.

Answer 1

这是随便得不能再随便的方法了：
1. If you say yes, please don't tell anybody that I have asked you this question.
2. Even if you say no, don't tell anybody neither. It's just between you and me. For now I want to keep it a secret. If you are a man, swear that you won't let it out, ok?
3. I'm only asking this question, I hope you know what I mean.

楼主的简写指得是什么，是缩写，还是网络用语？如果能指明的话我可以修改答案。

Answer 2

1.If your answer to my question is yes, please don't tell anyone,afer you have answered my question, i have asked you about that. Thanks.
2.If you answered no, please don't tell anyone i have asked you about that,neither. Please keep our conversation as a secret temproly. I hope you can make it. Please be a man and promise me that you won't tell anyone. can you?

Answer 3

If I ask you this question and your ansewr is yes.Please
don't tell anyone else I have asked this question after you answered it.

If your answer is no.Please don't tell anyone else as well.In a word,I wish the conversation btween us is a secret for the moment.Swear not to tell others if you are a man.OK？