这几段话语法有问题吗？有没有什么需要改动的地方？

Question

Different people have different views on college students taking dirty clothes home for washing.Some people think that this behavior is understandable because the school's laundry facilities are not perfect.Whereas other argue that such behavior is wrong.
As far as I am concerned,I agree with the opinion that college students should not take dirty clothes home for washing.
First of all,college students not only need to learn professional knowledge,but also need to cultivate their independent ability,by washing their own clothes,they can get effective exercise.
Secondly,college students wash their dirty clothes by themselves,which can relieve their parents' burden.
Last but not the least,by washing their own clothes,they can cultivate their patience and lay a foundation for their future study and work.
Taking all these factors in consideration,we may come to the conclusion that college students should wash their dirty clothes by themselves.Only in this way can their ability be improved comprehensively.
这几段是口语用的，不用太过于书面化。请各位指教

Answer 1

你的就比较书面化了。英语其实不过分强调语法。更多的是简洁的逻辑性语言。不同地方有不同的个性。宗旨就是流畅简洁第一，语法第二。表达出来大家都明白就好。
首句 Different 不常用。直接可以是 People have different opinions about college students taking dirty clothes home to wash clothes。人们对大学生带换洗的衣服回家有不同观点。。。。有些人怎么样 有些人又如何如何。
第二句，很少用as far as 的句型在口语中来表示自己的观点。可以用简单的My point is that来开始阐述。 观点顺序 直接就是 first second 比如：First, college students need to not only learn professional knowledge, but also develop independent abilities. Washing their clothes is exactly how to learn how to be independent.
第三句，要懂得幽默，家庭里面妈妈洗衣服比较多，就简单来说：Secondly, his mother wouldn't talk about your dirty clothes. 他妈妈再也不会对他的脏衣服说三道四了。或者用 Secondly, his mother never had a chance to mend holes in his personality jeans.其次，他妈妈再也没机会缝补他个性牛仔裤上的洞了。（暗指不给家庭带来麻烦）
同理第四句这样更深动：In the end, it may not matter. At least by washing their clothes, they may understand that solving problems is much easier than washing dirty clothes. Who knows, maybe someone becomes an expert in washing clothes.（最后，也许不重要，但至少通过洗自己的衣服，他们可能会明白，解题比洗脏衣服容易多了。谁知道，也许有人变成洗衣服的专家呢。）
多总结，多听听其他人的口语发言稿。语言的魅力不在于学会怎么拼读完整，需要带一点文化。才能理解更透彻。

Answer 2

对作文的建议:
1.该议论文思路清晰，整体没有语法错误。
2.语法唯有一点。
第一段中，如针对该论点分为两派建议。应该是some... ，the other...。一部分人...，另一部分人...（共两个部分）。
3.本文:
首先列出:带衣服回家给父母洗，或者在学校自己洗衣服，两个观点。作者同意后者。
但句子“taking dirty clothes home for washing”有些许歧义。
——衣服带回家洗，可能是自己洗，可能是家人。如果是自己洗，其实和作者的观点不谋而合。
建议更改该句子为“Taking dirty clothes home washed by parents”。
4.英语中，重视单词使用的多样化。
本文中除了使用by oneself，也可以适当使用on one's own。

Answer 3

开头最好不要用different people have different views这种不同人有不同的观点的表达，可以换成there are different views on……
Whereas other可改为Whereas others
第三段，First of all, college studentas need to not only learn professional knowledge but also cultivate their independent abilities such as washing clothes and they can get effetive exercise.