If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary.
如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
oops! i miss "U"
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
哎呀！我居然丢了“U”
注：U代表 “You”你。miss除有“遗漏”的意思，还有“思念”之意。这里i miss "U"，实为"I miss you." 我想你。
FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。 EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。
CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的；成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人的。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。
Don't be mad, don't be blue, Einstein was ugly too!
不要激动，不要忧郁，爱因斯坦长相也难看！
注：这句话言外之意是：难看怎么了，像爱因斯坦那样的伟人长相也难看呢！虽然你也很难看吧，没有什么大不了的。此句重点在一个“too”（“也”）字上。
1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.
一天你会很惊讶的发现我出现在你身边。你我一起欢笑，一起哭泣，一起梦想，依偎在一起，一起……只不过是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（医生）给你（精神病人）做检查。
You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.
你可能会从山上掉下来，也可能会从树上掉下来，但是，最好的方式，是你会爱上我。
注：fall from 意为“从……跌落下来”，fall to my love 意为“爱上我”，稳中巧用了“fall”这个单词的不同含义及用法，这条信息适合单身的朋友发给心仪的他/她.
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace".
然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
Every morning I pray 2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
每天早晨我都向上帝祷告：希望每个人都能够拥有像你这样的朋友……
Why should I be the only to
suffer...??
为什么只有我要忍受有你这样的朋友？
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.
如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。
But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.
但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。
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