这篇英语作文我写的对不？语法有没有错？

Question

希望帮忙修改修改，感觉句式很枯燥，要句式新颖滴~，意思不能变喽~
my friend
Jane is my good friend.She is a pretty girl.She has a big eyes, a small mouth, a small nose,strong white teeth and a ruddy complexion.her hair is straight and not curly hair,it has shoulder-length.She is so charming .
She is very diligent in her lessons and often praised by the teacher.She can also play the piano and sing sweet songs, and she is always smiling.
in the New Year's party,She was singing performance.
Although she has been transferred,but I still like her very much.

Answer 1

She has big eyes
strongly white teeth
her hair is straight and is not curly hair which has
She is very cleaver in her classes and often praised by the teacheres
She also can play the piano and sing sweetly songs, and she always smiling.
She got a good performance in singing
Although she has been transferred?不懂什么意思这句

Answer 2

she has big eyes
healthy white teeth
she has straight shoulder-length hair. a
nd is often praised by teachers.
at the New year's party. she gave a singing performance.

Answer 3

1、She has a big eyes——去掉a
2、strong white teeth －－一般strong不用来形容牙齿的吧？
3、her hair is straight and not curly hair,－－意思有些重复，起码要去掉hair
4、She was singing performance.－－？？是什么意思
另外，总感觉你文章里的生词有点多，不知道是不是我水平太低的缘故。如果是第一次用这些词语，希望能确定用法一定是正确的。

以上，个人意见。

Answer 4

jane is my good friend. she is a pretty girl with a couple of big eyes, a small mouth and small nose. she has strong and white teeth and ruddy complextion. she has shoulder-long straight hair. generally speaking, she is so charming.
jane is very diligent in her lessons and oftern praised by the teachers. she can also play the piano and sing sweet songs. she always smiles.
in the new year's party last year, she gave us a sing show. i like her very much, although she has tranferred to another school.

Answer 5

句式太单一了…… 不过这版本是高中的 不建议采纳 只给意见
My good friend,Jane,is a pretty girl.Big eyes she owned,small mouth and small nose make her charming,while healthy white teeth and ruddy complexion make her look like a princess in my mind(或 make her beautiful).I love her hair,which is shoulder-length,straight but not curly.She is so diligent in her lessons that she is often praised by the teacher. Not only can she play the piano but also she can sing sweet songs.And she always smiles.She showed us a wonderful singing performance at the New Year's party. Although she has been transferred,(这句不知啥意思 搬家？）I still like her very much.