英语笑话带翻译 短一些

Question

英语笑话带翻译 短一些

Answer 1

1. Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.

妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的

2. "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"请原谅,你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."

3. One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"

亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

4. Waste or Save? 浪费还是节约

Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?

Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?

父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午

难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?

杰克：我知道，爸爸

可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是?

5. Why Is He Howling 他为什么喊

Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.

Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!

牙医：请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢

病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀!

Answer 2

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietlyfor a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on theguest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth andthen said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where didyou find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explainingto a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ringthe doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates becauseevery weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family membersand friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said,"I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he puthis hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends orfamily?"George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？”乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

Answer 3