英语作文求修改，改其中的词汇，短语，动宾搭配，汉语式思维等错误。

Question

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The symbolic meaning of the picture is that when one people or a group of people are suffering difficulties even disasters that he or they cannot (承担),the more severe the difficulties or disasters are,the more meaningful and highlighted your love and help are.Just like people in darkness,a small lamp can bring light and hope to them.And I will give an example to illustrate my opinion.
About three month ago,when I listen to the radio,a message capture/catch my attention :an activity had been hosted by (the)persons who care of teenage prisoners.The purpose of this activity is to show love and care to these prisoners,to make them convince that they will never be gave up,to help them recognise what they should not do and ultimately to let them get back to society.(痛改前非，回归社会怎么说？)The effect of this activity to those prisoners is positive and obvious.Most of teenagers cried and appriciated/thanked those volunteers for their love and help.
(加个衔接：由这个例子可All of us can show our love to the persons who need help.But there is a premise(前提) that we should respect those people and consider their feeling instead of showing it in ourselves’way.So,if all of us aquired this point,love would be transfered smoothly.

Answer 1

我一句句给你修改吧
一、第一句：（基本没什么问题，写的挺好的）
1、 suffer加from, 后加suffer 是不及物动词，一般用法是“suffer from+宾语”
2、“承担”可用 take on

二、讲到例子的部分：从About three months ago开始
1、例子为过去发生，动词应用过去式。listen 改为listened, capture/catch改为captured/caught, 其他动词你自己改吧
2、an activity had been hosted 时态最好用过去式而不是过去完成时，改为an activity was host
3、care of 改为 take care of，“照顾”的意思
4、give 的被动时态为 given, 不是gave
5、“痛改前非，回归社会”不用字字翻译，意思对就好了。你自己写的那句也可以。
6、”The effect of this activity to those prisoners is positive and obvious.”一句，去掉to those prisoners，obvious改为remarkable会更好
7、transfer的过去式为trasferres，这里用passed 会更好

三、最后衔接部分：我觉得可以这样写
Thus, it is true that all of us can give our love to those in need. But we should bear in mind that we are supposed to respect others and take their feelings into consideration. Then, love will be passed with our efforts together.
用But there is a premise(前提)，if all of us aquired this point, 这种词，有点中式英语

Answer 2

The symbolic meaning of the picture is when one people or a group of people are suffering diffi-

culties even disasters that he or they cannot (承担),the more severe the difficulties or disasters are,the more meaningful and highlighted your love and help are.Just like people in darkness,a small lamp can bring light and hope to them.And I will give an example to illustrate my opinion.

About three month ago,when I listened to the radio,a message capture caught my attention :an activity had been hosted by (the)persons who cared of teenage prisoners.The purpose of this activity is to show love and care to these prisoners,to make them convince that they will never be given up,to help them recognise what they should not do and ultimately to let them get back to society.(痛改前非，回归社会怎么说？)The effect of this activity to those prisoners is positive and obvious.Most of teenagers cried and appriciated/thanked those volunteers for their love and help.
All of us can show our love to people who in need.But there is a premise(前提) that we should respect those people and consider their feeling instead of showing it in ourselves’way.So,if all of us aquired this point,love would be transfered smoothly.

Answer 3

什么叫he or they...要么就he or she列，要么就直接they...另外感觉确实很生硬。。。读完了都是中文的感觉，还有give的过去分词是given不是gave

Answer 4

哥们要不你把图发上来看看
没明白你的point