爆逗英语笑话故事
笑一笑十年少,有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑,可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久,你有这样的经历么?现在,一起来开心爆笑下吧!
真是恩爱的一对
How Sweet!
喔,真是恩爱的一对!
Two women friends were having tea.
两个女人正在喝茶,
Said one to the other,
其中一位对另一位说道:
"I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... "
“我已经花了一个礼拜找我的律师,….。”
"Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me" interrupted the recent widow,
“哦,拜托别再向我提律师的事了,”那位刚死去丈夫的女人插嘴道,
I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! "
“我在处理我先生遗留的房地产时遭遇到好多麻烦,有时候我真希望他没死就好了。
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘
老师:“John,动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。约翰:“你想它是什么呢”?老师:“我不用想,我知道!”。约翰:“我想我不知道”。
NO Sweat!
不费吹灰之力
There were four passengers in the small aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客:一名商人,一名发明家,一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的`旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然,驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的消息:“各位先生,这架飞机正失控下降中,我要设法迫降,但你们必须先跳下飞机。”
Naturally, the men were horrified。and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然,那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆,尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时,更是心惊胆战。
The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道:“各位先生,我雇用好几千名员工,他们都要靠我养家活口,我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来,调整了肩带说道:“我是世界上最聪明的人,我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了,各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和,中断祷告,对旅行者说道:“小伙子,我是信奉上帝的人,我对死并不畏惧,剩下的降落伞你就拿去用,逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿,神父,真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。”